True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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