I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize