im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize