She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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