Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
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I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
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My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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