I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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