I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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