$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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