My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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