Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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