piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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