my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize