let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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