So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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