I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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