Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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