porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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