The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize