She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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