First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize