Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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