There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
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A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
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We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
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