Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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