he wants to bone in the snuggie
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize