Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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