Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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