my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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