I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize