butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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