i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize