What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
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I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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