Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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