How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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