Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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