we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize