i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize