I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
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Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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