my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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