david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize