what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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