like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
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It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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