she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize