she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
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My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
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Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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