I am spending my child support on dildos
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize