I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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