I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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