he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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