Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize