you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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