it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
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im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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